Three days ago, while I was in Chicago for learning and sharing, my daughter asked me in our family WhatsApp group to block my Sunday morning on the calendar for a Father’s Day hike and breakfast. I replied sure puttar, saying the hike preferably ends a little after sunrise. Puttar is a term of endearment by parents and elders to address children of either gender in the Panjabi language. South Texas only has three types of weather: hot, hotter, and hottest. And I can’t handle the heat from the Sun on my face and head.

My daughter, son, and wife hiked in the Friedrich Wilderness Park. We practiced quietness. Stanza by stanza, we recited Japuji Sahib, the opening bani-utterance of Guru Granth Sahib. In it, an ask is repeated twice by Guru Nanak Sahib. ‘O Wisdom, give me one insight: May I never forget the 1-Giver of all beings.’ Will this ever become my ask? The 1-Giver, huh! I forget the 1-Giver amidst the few givers among the most takers I have witnessed in my life.

That contemplative stillness lingered as we continued along the trail. We noticed some trails were closed, likely due to flooding in the last few days in San Antonio. Then, we went to the local cafe, acclaimed as one of the ‘Best Artisanal Bakeries in North America’ by USA Today. As Public Enemy says, “Don’t believe the hype.” Generally, I don’t. I was pleasantly surprised at how good the ‘El Favorito (Vegetariano)’ avocado croissant was. I appreciated the morning— atypical, carved for a solitary dad. And yes, I was greeted with a typical greeting too, Happy Father's Day!

Over breakfast, we conversed about the children’s school year and summer plans. I was asked what I planned to do for the rest of the day. I replied: After the shower, recite bani, listen to kirtan (musical rendition), and watch something.

A few hours later, while listening to a Sabad—words and sounds of infinite wisdom—I started translating it for myself. At the time, there was no plan for it to become an essay. It is revealed by Guru Arjan Sahib, the fifth founder of Sikhi. It is in rag (musical mode) Gujari, which evokes a compassionate and thoughtful sense of mortality and awareness of our temporariness. It is often used in the Guru Granth Sahib to communicate what mortal beings ought to do with their lives in awareness of their morality.

5^th Embodiment in Gurjai Musical Mode & 2^nd Beat/Rhythm
1 Creative & Pervasive Force, Eternal, Realized by the Wisdom’s Grace

You are called the ruler among rulers,
        the landowner among landowners.
Your sovereignty among sovereigns,
        the ultimate lineage among lineages.1.
My Father is most wealthy and unfathomable.
O Creator! Which praise or virtues may I narrate?
        I am awestruck witnessing the creation.1.Pause to reflect.
You are called the comfortable among comfortables,
        the ultimate giver among givers.
You are called the radiant among radiants,
        the relisher among relishers.2.
You are called the warrior among warriors,
        the indulgent among indulgents.
You are the great householder among householders,
        the yogi among yogis.3.
You are the creator among creators,
        the devout among devouts.
You are the eternal banker among bankers,
        the trader among traders.4.
Your court among the courts,
        the utmost caretaker of asylees.
How much is Your wealth, it can’t be counted.
        I can’t count Your treasures.5.
Your divine identity among the identities,
        the wisest among the wise.
Your divine method among methods,
        the pilgrim-bather among pilgrim-bathers.6.
Your divine perfection among perfected ones,
        the doer among doers.
Your divine decree among decrees,
        the utmost command among commands.7.
As You cause us to speak, so we speak,
        what creative-power do we have?
Nanak sings the praise in the sage company,
        which the divine loves greatly.8.¹

Whatever the human’s ability to measure, estimate, or guess is of anything sacred, powerful, or mammon, the Divine Father’s immensity is beyond all of it. Fathers in this world try their best to provide for some of our needs here. The Divine Father fulfills or provides all of our needs—both here and beyond. But listening to and accepting it requires a paradigm shift.

And that shift does not come easily. It asks us to recognize provision not merely as material or phenomenal, but as deeply spiritual or numeonal. How do I get access to the father-like 1-Divine Who is very rich and incomprehensible beyond the understanding of my senses? That’s the life journey to tread with the Wisdom’s Way! The great ones who have done it have shared that this journey is to be trodden alone, and it is very difficult. It is like walking on the edges of a double-edged sword! 

Nonetheless, I acknowledge worldly fathers and father-like figures' roles in my life’s trajectory. Despite the tenseness at times within those relationships, I achieved certain milestones because of them. It took a while to grapple with those tense relationships. Eventually, the Widsom entered: ‘O son! Why do you quarrel with your father? It is a transgression to quarrel with the parents who were instruments of your birth and upbringing. Pause to reflect.’²

It was a morning spent well. In the afternoon, I watched the 4-part Adolescence, which had been on my list since March. It powerfully and empathically brought on screen what psychologists and educators had already known: the reckoning of the fathers. I, too, see my reduced role in understanding and influencing my kid's behavior. Its creators and actors succeeded in getting middle-aged men to realize the most hurtful and influential messages about masculinity. There is a terrifying disconnect created by being online. And it's not just the boys and the phones. A brilliant exchange occurs in episode 3 when a clinical psychologist is assigned to assess a young suspect's mental state. Perhaps, this is where we need to be: "I’m not here to determine guilt or innocence, just get an understanding of your understanding." In even larger disconnection and separation, what is our understanding of the understanding of the most wealthy and unfathomable 1-Divine-Parent?

To develop that understanding and evoke the feeling of compassion amid temporariness, I listened to several musical renditions of the aforementioned sabad. The one way that entered me the most was by Bhai Avtar Singh. A quiet gift was received.

May I also develop a very personal and intimate relationship with the 1-Giver as the Divine-Parent!

References

¹  ਗੂਜਰੀ ਮਹਲਾ ੫ ਘਰੁ ੨ ੴ ਸਤਿਗੁਰ ਪ੍ਰਸਾਦਿ ॥ ਰਾਜਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੂੰ ਰਾਜਾ ਕਹੀਅਹਿ ਭੂਮਨ ਮਹਿ ਭੂਮਾ ॥ ਠਾਕੁਰ ਮਹਿ ਠਕੁਰਾਈ ਤੇਰੀ ਕੋਮਨ ਸਿਰਿ ਕੋਮਾ ॥੧॥ ਪਿਤਾ ਮੇਰੋ ਬਡੋ ਧਨੀ ਅਗਮਾ ॥ ਉਸਤਤਿ ਕਵਨ ਕਰੀਜੈ ਕਰਤੇ ਪੇਖਿ ਰਹੇ ਬਿਸਮਾ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥ ਸੁਖੀਅਨ ਮਹਿ ਸੁਖੀਆ ਤੂੰ ਕਹੀਅਹਿ ਦਾਤਨ ਸਿਰਿ ਦਾਤਾ ॥ ਤੇਜਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੇਜਵੰਸੀ ਕਹੀਅਹਿ ਰਸੀਅਨ ਮਹਿ ਰਾਤਾ ॥੨॥ ਸੂਰਨ ਮਹਿ ਸੂਰਾ ਤੂੰ ਕਹੀਅਹਿ ਭੋਗਨ ਮਹਿ ਭੋਗੀ ॥ ਗ੍ਰਸਤਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੂੰ ਬਡੋ ਗ੍ਰਿਹਸਤੀ ਜੋਗਨ ਮਹਿ ਜੋਗੀ ॥੩॥ ਕਰਤਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੂੰ ਕਰਤਾ ਕਹੀਅਹਿ ਆਚਾਰਨ ਮਹਿ ਆਚਾਰੀ ॥ ਸਾਹਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੂੰ ਸਾਚਾ ਸਾਹਾ ਵਾਪਾਰਨ ਮਹਿ ਵਾਪਾਰੀ ॥੪॥ ਦਰਬਾਰਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੇਰੋ ਦਰਬਾਰਾ ਸਰਨ ਪਾਲਨ ਟੀਕਾ ॥ ਲਖਿਮੀ ਕੇਤਕ ਗਨੀ ਨ ਜਾਈਐ ਗਨਿ ਨ ਸਕਉ ਸੀਕਾ ॥੫॥ ਨਾਮਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੇਰੋ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਨਾਮਾ ਗਿਆਨਨ ਮਹਿ ਗਿਆਨੀ ॥ ਜੁਗਤਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਜੁਗਤਾ ਇਸਨਾਨਨ ਮਹਿ ਇਸਨਾਨੀ ॥੬॥ ਸਿਧਨ ਮਹਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਸਿਧਾ ਕਰਮਨ ਸਿਰਿ ਕਰਮਾ ॥ ਆਗਿਆ ਮਹਿ ਤੇਰੀ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਆਗਿਆ ਹੁਕਮਨ ਸਿਰਿ ਹੁਕਮਾ ॥੭॥ ਜਿਉ ਬੋਲਾਵਹਿ ਤਿਉ ਬੋਲਹ ਸੁਆਮੀ ਕੁਦਰਤਿ ਕਵਨ ਹਮਾਰੀ ॥ ਸਾਧਸੰਗਿ ਨਾਨਕ ਜਸੁ ਗਾਇਓ ਜੋ ਪ੍ਰਭ ਕੀ ਅਤਿ ਪਿਆਰੀ ॥੮॥੧॥੮॥,” Guru Granth Sahib, 507

²  “ਕਾਹੇ ਪੂਤ ਝਗਰਤ ਹਉ ਸੰਗਿ ਬਾਪ ॥ ਜਿਨ ਕੇ ਜਣੇ ਬਡੀਰੇ ਤੁਮ ਹਉ ਤਿਨ ਸਿਉ ਝਗਰਤ ਪਾਪ ॥੧॥ ਰਹਾਉ ॥,” Guru Granth Sahib, 1200